#humour

Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day? ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#funny #humour #lotr #pippin #poetry

Humour has always been a self-defence mechanism for me. ↗

— Brooke Shields

#been #humour #me #mechanism #self-defence

Lord, my hands were made for blessing, but not my feet! ↗

— Giovannino Guareschi

#don-camillo #humour #italy #priesthood #catholicism

There was a piece of ornamental water immediately below the parapet, on the other side, into which Mr. James Harthouse had a very strong inclination to pitch Mr. Thomas Gradgrind Junior. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#humour #temper #funny

Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones." "You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#anger

I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room. ↗

— Ray Bradbury

#individuality #science-fiction #art

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ↗

— George Carlin

#humour #paradox #humor

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them. ↗

— Johnny Depp

#love #family

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#funny #humour #neighborhoods #funny

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ↗