#humour

I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me better than you. ↗

— Jessica Park

#love

There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I don't know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I don't know what kept me from sayin' it. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#eavesdropping #frogs #humour #love

some say even to walk is a dance ↗

— Lilli-Alice Baxter

#humour #love #love

The lovely Hazard girls', they used to call them. Huh. Lovely is as lovely does; if they looked like what they behave like, they'd frighten little children. ↗

— Angela Carter

#love

You want me to be your spy in a game of restaurant espionage? Will I need a code name?" "It's nothing morally reprehensible or anything, " Wes hastened to assure her. "Just curiosity." "I think your code name should be Tiberius," she said decisively. "I'll be Uhura." "Tiberius? As in James Tiberius Kirk?" Wes blinked, then grinned. "Oh my God, this is your version of flirting. How do you say 'I fancy you' in Klingon? ↗

— Louisa Edwards

#humourous-situations #humor

I never loved to read. One does not love breathing. ↗

— Harper Lee

#reading #love

He had a supernatural grin. ↗

— Jane Baskin

#humour #love #love

I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog? ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#marriage

When she smiles niggers ask her for her hand in marriage; when I smile folks check their wallets. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#marriage

She had surrendered her virtue at six-and-ten, to a beautiful blond-haired sailor on a trading galley up from Lys. He only knew six words of the Common Tongue, but “fuck” was one of them—the very word she’d hoped to hear. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humour #beauty