#ill

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

Life sure is easier when you're rich." "And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part." "How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only thing we have in common. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #natural-born-charmer #romance #susan-elizabeth-phillips #humor

Julian presented the food. A fillet of sea bass with perfect griddle marks and a scattering of fennel picked from a nearby hedgerow. There were caramelized carrots, baby la ratte potatoes and a garnish of roasted tomatoes that had made a brief appearance in a painting that afternoon. ↗

— Red Ochre Press

#food

Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#bad #corrosive #destroyers #destruction #detractors

Good bye" is a good gift when you wave it at me because I refuse to follow a bad advice you gave. Wave it at me and I will show you the door. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#advise #bad-advice #bad-friend #bye #bye-bye

Schoolchildren and older people like the idea of planting trees. For children, it's interesting that an acorn will grow into an oak, and for older people it's a legacy. And the act of planting a tree is not that difficult. ↗

— Clive Anderson

#act #children #difficult #grow #idea

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too. ↗

— Will Smith

#bad #cause #consume #deal #disrespect

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. ↗

— Lewis B. Smedes

#begun #feel #hurt #know #power