#in

There are no crowds out there demanding to see smoking scenes in movies. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#demanding #movies #out #scenes #see

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#endgame #funny #unhappiness-nothing #funny

Sometimes it is only a True Friend who knows what we mean when we try to speak. Somebody who has spent a lot of time with us, and listens carefully to what we are trying to say, and tries to understand. ↗

— Cressida Cowell

#understanding #friendship

There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#editing #funny #people #typo #world

I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #everlasting #funny #humor #immortality

The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blindfolded #car #friends #friendship #funny

When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#funny #goodnight #gwen #funny

Most fools drink after one another, from a thinking cup that is empty. But I only drink after people whose cups are filled with a fluid to fascination ratio of nearly 1:1. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fascination #funny #thinking #funny

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#because #friendship #good #good marriage #love

I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fear #funny #palindromes #funny