#in

I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building. Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family. ↗

— Jim Benton

#building #coloring #funny #purple #family

I can’t believe I’ve missed this sport. It’s all about fingering holes and caressing balls. ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#funny #k-a-mitchell #sport #funny

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward ↗

— J.R. Ward

#tips #writing #funny

Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably less flat than the floor. "Owww!" he yelled. Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it. "If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #funny

Mal snickered. "What's so funny?" "I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him. ↗

— Leigh Bardugo

#funny #mal #funny

Paddle Harder ↗

— Lauren Myracle

#inspirational #funny

Don’t believe what you hear about those penguins. A species of lazy waddlers. Their extinction is immanent. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #penguins #funny

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#funny #humour #funny

Companionship is a foreign concept to some people. They fear it as much as the majority of people fear loneliness. ↗

— Criss Jami

#companion #companionship #different #extroversion #fear

I prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. ↗

— Jackie Chan

#inspirational