#in

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. ↗

— Zora Neale Hurston

#humor #self-assurance #self-worth #humor

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #uncertainty #humor

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#government #humor #politics #public-opinion #humor

Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language." Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?" "With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top." Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!" This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing. "Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that... ↗

— Rick Riordan

#horse #humor #humor

Poirot," I said. "I have been thinking." "An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#thinking #humor

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#deep #his #invented #language #man

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#insanity #religion #war #humor

Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?" "I give." "You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#dogs #dyslexia #god #humor #insomnia

It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-" "You invented the internet?" It was my idea, Martha said. Rats are delicious, George said. "It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hermes #humor #internet #martha #percy-jackson

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. ↗

— Peter De Vries

#writing #humor