#insult

First you say I am a murderer - an agent in league against you - and now I am a deluded heartsick girl! Pray make up your mind so I can scoff at you with precision! ↗

— Gordon Dahlquist

#cheeky #insult #change

In the far reaches of her brain a storehouse of demeaning events evidently opened a door for Extra Sensory Perception experiences to enter. ↗

— Judy Byington

#pseudoscience #experience

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. ↗

— Cormac McCarthy

#freedom #insult #freedom

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #insults #sarcasm #friendship

You have two emotions—apathy and rage—and nothing in between.” Ellie wanted him to stop, but she could hear the truth in his words. She closed her eyes for his killing blow. “It’s like you’re not even a person. You’re an…organism.” “That’s not true.” Ellie forced her eyes open. “I am a person. I’m just not good at it. ↗

— S.G. Redling

#funny

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #humor

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist. A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark ↗

— A.C. Kemp

#insult #snark #humor

Look, I'm very sorry for any wrong I've committed, intentionally or accidentally, against any member of your pack or kennel or whatnot. I mean that truly and sincerely, from the very core of my being. But I'm tired. Please imagine what it's like to be raised from the dead by a deranged vampire-motorcyle-gang-religious cult, only to be dragged across the country in a van driven by your ex-lover and fledgling who hates you and no longer sympathizes with the human need for waste elimination. I have neither the energy nor the inclination to write a ten page statement officially apologizing for the evils of my past, and if you expect me to, kindly throw yourself beneath the wheels of a moving train. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout (Cyrus to Bella)

#humor #insults #humor

There's love and everybody talks about it, but not all of us come close to it - or, if we do, it's not in the expected way. ↗

— Rupert Thomson

#rupert-thomson #the-insult #love