#insult

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

Peter to Austin: "Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ↗

— Dani Alexander

#gay #glbt #humor #insults #mm

8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT'S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT'S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER! ↗

— Tucker Max

#insult #mcdonalds #humor

She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#insult-to-a-werewolf #humor

You mean he came to your school? The scandalous rodent-loaf! ↗

— Laini Taylor

#insults #rodents #humor

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #insult #irs #malediction #humor

[Francesca] 'You really are a few biscuits short of breakfast.' His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'You're a few colors shy of a rainbow?' she offered. 'Not pulling a full wagon? Knitting with only one needle? All foam and no beer? Your cheese slid off the cracker? You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?' [Nicodemus] 'All right. I get it. ↗

— Blake Charlton

#insults #metaphor #stupidity #humor

I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner." He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#insults #men-and-women #relationships #humor

We should be careful of the insults we fling at others, lest they return and land at our feet, newly minted to apply to those who had first coined them. ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#insults #inspirational

Never insult anyone by accident. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#anyone #insult #never