#irony

Jesus "...It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#irony #understatements #humor

This was a vagrant of sixty-five, who was going to prison for not playing the flute; or, in other words, for begging in the streets, and doing noting for his livelihood. In the next cell, was another man, who was going to the same prison for hawking tin saucepans without a licence; thereby doing something for his living, in defiance of the Stamp-office. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#irony #humor

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is. ↗

— B.J. Neblett

#irony #laughter #sarcasm #satirical #humor

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else. ↗

— Peyton C. March

#irony #life #freedom

Luckily, even as a young man not yet become himself, John Bridgens had two things besides indecision that kept him from self-destruction - books and a sense of irony. ↗

— Dan Simmons

#irony #salvation #self-destruction #salvation

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours, Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the world Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good; Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now. ↗

— Teresa of Ávila

#religious-right #men

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS ↗

— ASHISH RANJAN

#choice #focus #goal #happiness #humour

Without an element of vulgarity, no man can be a work of art...I have to try and think what an artist is, apart from a hooligan who cannot live within his income of praise. ↗

— Quentin Crisp

#creativity #humor #irony-of-life #art

Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

Look, I know this is the last thing you want to talk about, but I wanted to ask you . . . .” He trailed off, looking strangely uneasy. “Ask me . . . ?” Ask me to dinner? Ask me out for drinks? Ask me if I wanted to see what he looked like under that uniform? Yow, where’d that last one come from? ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death