#jo

Respect doesn’t have to be shiny. It just needs to be wearable. Would you be so kind as to hold my jockstrap while I stir your hot coffee?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#coffee #funny #hold #humor #jockstrap

The workforce offers many outlets for personal growth to people of limited potential. You can explore your aptitude for drudgery. Or if you are the creative sort, you can join a corporation and have it come up with your ideas for you. The amount of great ideas corporations have today is astounding. They are far more original than people ever were. In fact, since the rise of the corporation I can’t think of a single person who invented anything. ↗

— Bauvard

#creativity #funny #humor #inventions #jobs

Dave? This is John." "What are you-" Alive? "-in an ambulance or something?" "Yes and no. Are you still at the police station?" "Yeah. We were both-" "Have I died yet? ↗

— David Wong

#died-yet #funny #john #police #funny

My first job when I got my equity card was acting in 14 plays back-to-back. Playing that many roles, you look for ways of differentiating the characters physically, which goes hand in hand with understanding them psychologically. ↗

— Andy Serkis

#card #characters #equity #first #goes

The main character, Gene Moore, is shown how much of his identity is wrapped up in his career and potential in that career. When he comes home from war no longer able to see himself as a baseball prospect, he isn't sure who he is. This is thoroughly reinforced every time one of his acquaintances identifies him by baseball or inquires about his status. How much of our identity and worth is wrapped up in our job title or the one we are aspiring to? ↗

— Gary Moore

#identity #jobs #rehabilitation #work #dreams

We live, all of us, in sprung rhythm. Even in cities, folk stir without knowing it to the surge in the blood that is the surge and urgency of season. In being born, we have taken seisin of the natural world, and as ever, it is the land which owns us, not we, the land. Even in the countryside, we dwell suspended between the rhythms of earth and season, weather and sky, and those imposed by metropolitan clocks, at home and abroad. When does the year begin? No; ask rather, When does it not? For us – all of us – as much as for Mr Eliot, midwinter spring is its own season; for all of us, if we but see it, our world is as full of time-coulisses as was Thomas Mann’s. Countrymen know this, with the instinct they share with their beasts. Writers want to know it also, and to articulate what the countryman knows and cannot, perhaps, express to those who sense but do not know, immured in sad conurbations, rootless amidst Betjeman’s frightful vision of soot and stone, worker’s flats and communal canteens, where it is the boast of pride that a man doesn’t let the grass grow under his feet. As both countryman and writer, I have a curious relationship to time. ↗

— G.M.W. Wemyss

#country-life #countryside #sir-john-betjeman #time #village-life

They stopped and bowed their heads close together as the revelers ate and danced and celebrated around the glow of the fire. Darkness was falling over Lilyvale, the pink horizon a glorious and unusual marvel. Lily and James hardly noticed, lost as they were in the preciousness of the moment. "Lily mine," James whispered. "We're finally home. ↗

— Annabel Joseph

#james #lily #lily-mine #home

I want to read the employment section of the Bible. I think it’s simply called Job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#employment #hilarious #humor #jarod-kintz #job

In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke. ↗

— Hermann Hesse

#discordianism #eternity #humor #joke #humor

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. ↗

— Marcus Brigstocke

#humor #influence #joke #video-games #humor