#l

He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #hair #ilona-andrews #the-edge

Hey, A-D-D,” she called out to Claire, “come over and try these on. ↗

— Kimberly Derting

#love #teasing #funny

Totally drained he could only manage one but he made it a good one tongue included. “Delicious ” he murmured. “So depraved ” Colton muttered. “Thank you.” “Get off me.” “Mine ” “Stings.” “Boohoo. ↗

— Finn Marlowe

#cute #funny #m-m-paranormal #m-m-romanc #shifters

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson ↗

— Madeleine Urban

#humorous-quotations #shit #squirrel #funny

Through the window yesterday I saw a fool talking to himself, and it made me laugh, until I realized it was a mirrored window. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fool #funny #humor #laughter #funny

If a man wants love and a woman wants marriage, it’s best to compromise and get heart transplants on the honeymoon. Then a part of the other will always be with them, helping them sigh dreamily. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #love #marriage #funny

Sans le jazz, la vie serait une erreur ↗

— Boris Vian

#life #music #life

I like using big words because it gets a response out of people. They say, 'Was that an insult?' Soon I'll have enough scars to make an impression as the strong, silent type. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #vocabulary #funny

I would rather die than be a plumber, but thanks to lead I can do both. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #plumbing #funny

My life is like a reality show. Whenever I cuss I bleep myself out with my air horn, and when my friends get naked I take off my glasses. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #reality-shows #funny