#l

I thought you said you were the one in charge!" Ce'Nedra exclaimed. I lied." Silk said. "It's a vice I have. ↗

— David Eddings

#humor #prince-kheldar #silk #humor

When you're down, remember your triumphs. [...] Sometimes you get in trouble and crash. Other times: just a bumpy landing. ↗

— Ellyn Bache

#life-lessons #art

I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail. . . . Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly. . . . I just wish I knew why. . . .” He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. “I suspect it is simply my good looks. . . . ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#gilderoy #harry-potter #humor #lockehart #rowling

There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy? ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#hunter-zaccadelli #humor

The hand on my hair moved to my back, and I realized someone was singing softly. The voice was familiar, and something about it made my chest ache. Well, that was to be expected. Angels' songs would be awfully poignant. "'I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you...'" the voice crooned. I frowned. Was that really an appropriate song for the Heavenly Host to be-- ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#cocktail-bar #grace #hex-hall #humor #mom

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#cocktails #drinks #humor #sex #humor

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#foaly #humor #humor

Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing. ↗

— Cormac McCarthy

#life #humor

He probably would've raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#dirty #elodie #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up. ↗

— Cheyenne McCray

#demons-not-included #humor #humor