#l

Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt." I busted up, and I probably would've kept laughing all day, but then I heard a noise: "Moooo." The smile melted off my face. I wondered if the noise was just in my head, but Grover had stopped laughing too. He was looking around, confused. "Did I just hear a cow?" "A dam cow?" Thalia laughed. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humour #percy-jackson #thalia-grace #zoe-nightshade #funny

Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man. ↗

— Thomas Wolfe

#been #central #every #every man #experience

Not even the most powerful organs of the press, including Time, Newsweek, and The New York Times, can discover a new artist or certify his work and make it stick. They can only bring you the scores. ↗

— Thomas Wolfe

#bring #certify #discover #even #his

If you're lucky to have three close people in your life, you're blessed. ↗

— Tiger Woods

#close #life #lucky #people #three

So I suggested to Dimitri that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I was pretty sure it was at me and not with me. Rose Hathaway: "Why is that funny?” Dimitri Belikov: "Oh, You were serious.” Rose Hathaway: "Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed, It's just one hour.” Dimitri Belikov: "How do you feel right now? After the training you've done so far?” Rose Hathaway: "I hurt like hell.” Dimitri Belikov: "You'll feel worse tomorrow.” Rose Hathaway: "So?” Dimitri Belikov: "So, better to jump in now while you still feel…not as bad.” Rose Hathaway: "What kind of logic is that? ↗

— Richelle Mead

#rose-hathaway #vampire-academy #funny

Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of the moon!
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#future #humor #life #living #market

I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more efficiently, like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#doors #efficiency #efficient #efficiently #fondle

I don't think journalists should talk about whom they're voting for. ↗

— Tom Wolfe

#i #journalists #should #talk #think

I wrote a number of pieces in the year 1966 that were so bad that, although I'm a great collector of my own pieces, I have never collected them. ↗

— Tom Wolfe

#bad #collected #collector #great #i

Most people don't read editorial pages. I think I must have been 40 before I even looked at an editorial page. ↗

— Tom Wolfe

#before #editorial #even #i #i think