#la

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right. ↗

— Brian Andreas

#relationships #story-people #humor

i told you he'd freak out, she siad. didn't i? ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humor

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#dwarfs #humor #jon-snow #king #sarcasm

I am not really breaking any rules. Charlie said I could never take another step through the door again... I came in through the window... Still, the intent was clear," said Edward. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#edward #humor #rules #humor

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together. ↗

— Sam Levenson

#humor #relationships #family

No one believes you’re serious until bodies start to fall. -Vlad ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humor #night-huntress #vlad #humor

Something snapped inside her. “Of course I’m afraid! Relationships do bad things to me.” He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn’t want to hear it. “You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here’s what’s really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#friendship

Miracles are merely events that happen just when they are needed. ↗

— David Gemmell

#revelation #inspirational

One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship! ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#friendship

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #misattributed #spoonerism #wordplay #humor