#la

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#fight-club #humor #humor

Whether a man is a criminal or a public servant is purely a matter of perspective. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#ethics #humor #relativism #humor

either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z ↗

— Jay-Z

#humor

America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#banksters #humor #lawyers #lobbyists #politicians

Aquello está sobre las brasas de la tierra, en la mera boca del infierno. Con decirle que muchos de los que allí se mueren al llegar al infierno regresan por su cobija. ↗

— Juan Rulfo

#hell #humor #humor

Trolls have a longstanding animosity for goats--"Who's that trip-tapping across my bridge!?"--and this led me to think that perhaps trolls are related to goats, since it seems a lot more plausible to me that your relatives would make you insane than some random hooved mammal, however ecologically destructive it might be. What if trolls evolved from goats? Or, no, better yet, what if goats evolved from trolls? Or were domesticated from trolls by human shepherds? And the trolls despise their domesticated cousins as a disgrace to the once-proud troll race, (much as I assume wolves would despise Chihuahuas if they ever gave them much thought) and eat them at every opportunity. ↗

— Ursula Vernon

#humor #relations #family

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is. ↗

— B.J. Neblett

#irony #laughter #sarcasm #satirical #humor

Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals. ↗