#la

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. ↗

— Josh Billings

#forgiven #laughed #lord #man #sins

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. ↗

— Josh Billings

#cologne #flattery #like #swallowed #water

But I think that's a particular kind of experience involving a certain immediacy between you and the canvass, you and the particular kind of experience of that particular moment. ↗

— Donald Judd

#certain #experience #i #i think #immediacy

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. ↗

— Josh Billings

#drop #economy #get #into #men

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. ↗

— Josh Billings

#dog #every #few #meets #old

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. ↗

— Josh Billings

#board #good #her #hotel #kind

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. ↗

— Larry David

#audience #energy #feed #happy #i

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh. ↗

— Larry David

#frustrated #guy #i #kids #laugh

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. ↗

— Larry David

#add #although #army #because #classes

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. ↗

— Larry David

#completely #idea #most #no idea #people