#la

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#bird #child #door #glass #running

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#before #church #come #dropped #everybody

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#computer #cool #forceful #get #help

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#finish #fit #get #go #good

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#bar #council #even #high #high school

Large organization is loose organization. Nay, it would be almost as true to say that organization is always disorganization. ↗

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

#always #large #loose #nay #organization

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#apart #argue #car #different #driving

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#because #fun #funny #go #i

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#across #around #come #down #i

And the young people in the 1960's identified with it immediately, because, I guess the young people had been having years of repression really. They felt that the, you know, after the war everything was very austere, particularly in Europe. ↗

— George Martin

#austere #because #been #europe #everything