#lia

I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#humor #women #humor

Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#humour #liars #lie #priests #funny

Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

James - "Are you paying attention or just trying to make me look like an idoit?" Elizabeth - "Oh, I'm definately paying attention. If you look like an idiot it has nothing to do with me. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.” William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.” Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#lords-of-the-underworld #william #humor

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#female-genitalia #homosexuality #humor #mothers #humor

Maybe love is thinking that every time your partner does or says something mundane that you want to start a Mexican wave from here to Uzbekistan in utter delight. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#love #quote #love

My mother is convinced that yellow is a happy color and that a happy girl would get a husband. -Penelope Featherington ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #marriage #humor

Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sass #will #william-herondale #humor

Francesca: It's still a bit cold yet. Michael: Never stopped John and me. Francesca: Yes, well, you're Scottish. Your blood circulates quite well half frozen. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #scots #humor