#lia

Sending love letters to first-graders will teach them lessons in cursive. But writing back will test their commitment. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #love #pedophilia #funny

Gohan...Is that sunburn or are you blushing? ↗

— Akira Toriyama

#funny #gohan #goku #krillian #videl

It is degrading to encourage something you would never do yourself. That is why I never give advice to young people. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humiliation #humor #youth #funny

We didn’t-?” I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can’t complete the question. I stare at my hands. “Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive,” he says dryly. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james

Strangers are only offensive when they offer courteous greetings. It abolishes the impartial judgment needed for a just society. ↗

— Bauvard

#familiarity #funny #humor #justice #strangers

I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals. ↗

— J.A. Konrath

#genitalia #guns #funny

HUGH: What I want to know is, where do the Aussies get off thinking they’re tougher than cowboys? JESSICA: Cowboys fight men with guns. Aussies fight nature with knives. HUGH: Nature can be killed, sister. That is the difference. Its landscapes are reduced to photographic reproductions every day and its laws are destined to become outmoded paradigms. But human nature is immutable. ↗

— Bauvard

#cowboys #funny #humor #nature #funny

No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth. ↗

— Sara Shepard

#liar #lying #truth #humor

Anya jumped in front of the man, acting as his shield. “Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#lords-of-the-underworld #william #humor

I’m half Italian.” “Which half?” the words were out before Tessa could stop them. Was she flirting with him? She never flirted with men. His lips curved in a slow, sexy smile that made her heart trip. “From the waist down. ↗

— Pamela Clare

#tessa-humor #humor