#low

I want to make love like the most romantic thing ever, but I just don’t know how to go about learning how to fornicate like a flower. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fornicate #humor #make-love #romantic #humor

Often people that tell others they are "extremely polite" when the situation calls for tact and bluntness are not actually polite people. Instead, they hide behind the word “polite” because they have low self esteem or hidden agendas. Sadly, they impolitely confuse the hell out of everyone, send mixed signals, which then makes people question their sanity and motives.

— Shannon L. Alder

#anxiety #bluntness #fear #games #honesty

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gallows-humor #humor #laughing #death

Christ manifests his divine leadership in your sincere followership. Christ's followers become true leaders because Christ is the model of true leadership. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#christ-s-followers #christians #example #excellence #follow

Once upon a time, I had two close friends. Shocking, I know, given my natural charm, but there are those who just don't appreciate my brilliance. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #robin-goodfellow #summer-s-crossing #humor

The flowers like me back. ↗

— John H. Carroll

#flowers #humor #humor

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#cartoons #humor #preaching #shallow #shallowness

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

I was probably the one who tattled on the class clown. To get in good with the teachers. ↗

— Christine Lavin

#class clown #clown #get #good #i

I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going to buy her a present. I think that should be a tradition. The kid gets gifts from everybody, and he buys one present for his mom since she was there, too. It think that would be nice. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#love