#m

I wish I knew then what I know now - and still had those thighs! ↗

— Rebecca Wells

#humor

Potential grabs my inner thigh Yeah, that's how close we are... ↗

— Casey Renee Kiser

#humor

If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it could be a really ugly swan. ↗

— Timmothy Radman

#duck #humor #sounding-board #swan #ugly

Why don't you find out for yourself? Then you'll see the glass, hidden in the grass. ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

Hypocrisy is the resin that holds the plywood of society together. ↗

— Scott Meyer

#hypocrisy #society #humor

Present company excluded, this looked to be the most pleasant detention ever experienced by mankind. Further proof that librarians should run the world-or a least be in charge of detention at Bathory High. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#librarians #humor

What are you going to do? "Can't say - run for president, write -" "Greenwich Village?" "Good heavens, no - I said write - not drink. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#humor #writing #humor

Dagmar tried to stand, and Gwenvael caught her hand, pulling her back down. "You can't leave me. I'm tortured and brooding. You need to show me how much you adore me so I can learn to love myself again." "You've never stopped loving yourself." "Because I'm amazing. ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#egotistical #humor #self-love #humor

I am very much out of my element here. There are moments, listening to the conversations going on around me, when I feel I am going to lose my mind. Earlier today, I heard someone say the words, "I felt at one with the divine source of creation." Mary Roach on a conducted tour of Hades. I had to fight the urge to push back my chair and start screaming: STAND BACK! ALL OF YOU! I'VE GOT AN ARTHUR FINDLAY BOX CUTTER! Instead, I quietly excused myself and went to the bar, to commune with spirits I know how to relate to. ↗

— Mary Roach

#humor #medium #psychic #science #humor

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor