#m

I’m afraid of fear, men named Raef, and palindromes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #palindrome #funny

For all of life’s problems, blame my father. He was never there for me, not even at conception. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

The most important thing to remember is that the safe word is for the client; you bring mace. ↗

— Isa K.

#funny #humor #safe-words #funny

There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corrupt #corruption #country #funny #humor

She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#funny-and-random #mothers #names #sobriquet #sons

Dalai Lama: an oriental pope who sells his followers indulgences that take effect after ten thousand lifetimes. ↗

— Bauvard

#dalai-lama #funny #humor #funny

The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend?" William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish ↗

— Tate Hallaway

#garnet-lacey #william #funny

He was warm, partly because he had on many layers, and partly because boys whoa re part wolf and part wind do not get cold. ↗

— Dave Eggers

#funny #smile #funny

You must be a blast on long car rides.” “Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny #humor #michael #sarcasm #sex

I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment. ↗

— Bauvard

#cynicism #disillusionment #funny #growing-up #humor