#men

I'M SCOTTISH! ↗

— Elizabeth Wein

#english #funny #humor #scottish #funny

Even in your darkest moments, you'll think of something that'll crack you up. ↗

— Brad Paisley

#darkest #even #moments #something #think

Magdalena pulls me away by the arm. “I am the stronger one of Titus and I,” she says over the marketplace din. “Woman are always the stronger sex.” She smiles to herself. “The trick is not appearing to be so. ↗

— Lynn Cullen

#lynn-cullen #sex #women #humor

Life is a bitter sweet journey my friend, a bitter sweet journey. ↗

— Luellen Hoffman

#friendship #inspirational #life #philosophy #women

Environmentalists generally object to battery-powered devices and for good reason: batteries require mined minerals, employ manufacturing processes that leak toxins into local ecosystems and leave behind an even-worse trail of side effects upon disposal. Though when it comes to the largest mass-produced battery-powered gadget ever created—the electric car—environmentalists cannot jump from their seats fast enough to applaud it. ↗

— Ozzie Zehner

#environment #humor #politics #humor

I have no will of my own. Never did. Limp and lily-livered, I always obey - is it possible that's attractive to women? ↗

— Anton Chekhov

#humor #seagull #women #humor

Poker has such an element of competitivness that other games don't have. ↗

— Chris Moneymaker

#games #other #poker #such

He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! ↗

— David Sedaris

#judgement #travel #humor

Bless the bright eyes of your sex! They never see, whether for good or bad, more than one side of any question; and that is always, the one which first presents itself to them. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#women #humor

Now, paper and pencils," said Miss Marcy, clapping her hands. Writing paper is scarce in this house, and I had no intention of tearing sheets out of this exercise book, which is a superb sixpenny one the Vicar gave me. In the end, Miss Marcy took the middle pages out of her library record, which gave us a pleasant feeling that we were stealing from the government, and then we sat round the table and elected her chairman. ↗

— Dodie Smith

#humor #humor