#men

baloney is flattery so thick it cannot be true; blarney is flatter so thin we like it. ↗

— Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen

#blarney #compliment #flattery #humor #humor

My father would argue two side of a möbius strip. ↗

— Dan Brown

#math-humor #science-humor #humor

Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window ↗

— Josh Stern

#comedy #humor

Claude rubs the back of his neck and wrinkles his nose, about to tell me he was never sad. I believe this is called bravado and is not limited to lawyers, or even men, although that combination makes it almost unavoidable. ↗

— Rachel Hartman

#humor #lawyers #men #humor

Gert: What... what just happened? Chase: I don't know, but guess who totally stole Cookie Monster's glasses! Gert: Whew, for a second there, I was worried we almost learned something. Chase: Ooo, look at me! I'm a big fluffy nerd! ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#humor #runaways #x-men #humor

Can I have a glass of water?" Her voice was hoarse, probably from screaming. She'd always sounded like that after they'd- He didn't just force the thought aside. He clubbed it unconscious, threw it into a crawl space and walled it up alive. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#men-and-women #relationships #humor

Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not like you to point out that they are wrong, even when they are. That is the way things are, Mma--it just is. ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#men #mma-ramotswe #humor

As someone who grew up in the Bronx, I certainly learned my share of four-letter words, but none are more powerful than nice. ↗

— Linda Kaplan Thaler

#inspirational #self-improvement #humor

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.” “You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected. “No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.” A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ↗

— Julie James

#fbi #funny #humor #julie-james #men

Colin: "1 dinna understand why we canna just go to bed and have sex." He looked truly puzzled. ↗

— Nina Bangs

#men #sex #women #humor