#men

I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I . . .must . . . not . . . look . . . like . . . a . . . baboon’s . . . backside. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#detention #gregory-goyle #humor #punishment #ron-weasley

I want to read the employment section of the Bible. I think it’s simply called Job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#employment #hilarious #humor #jarod-kintz #job

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #mortal-instruments #humor

Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever" "Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can". Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #humor

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#reading #wallflowers #women #humor

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #politics #humor

When exactly did every housewife in America become a whore? ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#whores #women #humor

Men are like dogs," Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took up too much space on the bed, and they always went for the crotch. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #men #smooth-talking-stranger #humor

After I returned to New Jersey, I thought I was safe, because I did not think Kenny G could leave the bad place, which I realize is silly now - because Kenny G is extremely talented and resourceful and a powerful force to be reckoned with. ↗

— Matthew Quick

#mental-illness #humor

Quaint and picturesque, though I didn't voice my opinion out loud. Keirran and Annwyl were faeries, and Kenzie was a girl, so it was okay for them to notice such things. as a card-carrying guy club, I wasn't going to comment on the floral arrangements. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #men #stereotypes #humor