#mo

Sensitive," I tried. Sam translated: "Squishy." "Creative." "Dangerously emo." "Thoughtful." "Feng shui." I laughed so hard I snorted. "How do you get feng shui out of 'thoughtful'?" "You know, because in feng shui, you arrange furniture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." Sam shrugged. "To make you calm. Zenlike. Or something. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it all works, besides the thoughtful part. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor #word-association #humor

And you're blind?" Uh-huh," Iggy said, trying to sound bored. Were you born that way?" No." How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?" Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maximum-ride #humor

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#evil #humor #political-correctness #humor

Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?" "Not really." Okay. "Is there any point asking what you're going to do to me?" He grinned wickedly. "Not really." Fabulous. "Does it involve the use of a safe word?" "That will depend entirely on you." Noah moved impossibly closer, just inches away. A few freckles disappeared into the scruff on his jaw. "I'll be gentle," Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're evil." In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose. "And you're mine," he said, then walked away. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #sexy #ya

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #sarcasm #skuldugerry-pleasant #wit #humor

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter." (Letter 16, 1657) ↗

— Blaise Pascal

#conciseness #correspondence #humor #letters #pithy

You have something on your neck. What Looks like a bite mark, what were you doing out all night, anyway? Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head. And ran into a vampire What? No! I fell. On your neck? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #city-of-bones #city-of-glass #humor #humor

She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. ↗

— Jane Austen

#love #mr-darcy #humor

He looked back at her, and when she saw the look on his face, she saw his eyes at Renwick’s, when he had watched the Portal that separated him from his home shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He held her gaze for a split second, then looked away from her, the muscles in his throat working. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-wayland #humor

You look too pretty to be useful." "Truer words were never spoken. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor