#mo

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#funny #humor #funny

Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #boundaries #cartographer #funny #humor

The silence protrudes like an engorged stomach, while I ponder the thought of trying to sit on my own lap. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #ponder #surreal #thought

In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#modern-times #nonsensical #funny

A good quote should inspire individuals to go lower the world's population one person at a time. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #inspiration #quotes #funny

POZZO: I am blind. (Silence.) ESTRAGON: Perhaps he can see into the future. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#funny #future #humor #pessimism #funny

When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I’m a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #politics #funny

Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #quotes #funny

Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives. ↗

— Huntley Fitzpatrick

#humour #romance #young-adult #young-adult-romance #funny

More freedom means more jobs... less government and less taxes. ↗

— Todd Akin

#freedom means #government #jobs #less #means