#mo

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #funny #new-moon #twilight-saga #funny

Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate :) ↗

— Pablo

#funny #funny

Cut the crap and tell me what color panties you’re wearing. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#funny

Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably less flat than the floor. "Owww!" he yelled. Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it. "If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #funny

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#funny #humour #funny

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I've never been more happy for a Monday. ↗

— Becca Ann

#funny

Rough Night, Kitten? ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#funny

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right? ↗