#mo

Is it worth the effort to tell an idiot that they are profoundly stupid? Or is it just good fun to see the blank stare? ↗

— Neil Leckman

#humor

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer ↗

— Samuel L. Clemens

#humor #humor

I furrowed my brows at him. What was so amazing about a stick? I could pick one up outside on the way to the car. “Let me guess, you’re Harry Potter and this is the school of Hogwarts. If I say Lumos will it light up? ↗

— Brandi Salazar

#humor #lumos #magic #school #humor

This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#insanity #social #humor

And we'll call you...hmmm. Pudge." "Huh?" "Pudge," the Colonel said. "Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right. ↗

— John Green

#wise #humor

...but, dear me, let us be elegant or die. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor

At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

I couldn't take much more of this. Being the object two men competed for wasn't as glamorous as it sounded in the movies. The two men who both wanted one hundred percent of my time weren't dashing, international playboys. They were undead and surprisingly immature, considering the youngest was just over a hundred years old. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love-triangle #men-and-women #relationships #humor

The first time I came to Deadwood, I got shot in the ass." -Violet Parker ↗

— Ann Charles

#humor

I've been diagnosed as being bi-polar but so have Florence Nightingale and King David...which kinda leaves me in pretty dam good company...if I must say so. ↗

— Timothy Pina

#humor