#mo

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. ↗

— Lewis Black

#bad #bad ideas #democrats #ideas #nothing

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. ↗

— Lewis Black

#absolutely nothing #because #clock #course #economics

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense. ↗

— Lewis Black

#day #disturbing #find #flu #get

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!' ↗

— Lewis Black

#cable #company #dad #dollars #father

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#five #grandmother #hell #know #miles

This is not a battle between the United States of America and terrorism, but between the free and democratic world and terrorism. ↗

— Tony Blair

#battle #between #democratic #free #states

Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#christian #every #faith #golden #golden rule

I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#atmosphere #everything #fine #got #i

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now. ↗

— Lewis Black

#even #i #kept #louder #more

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#attention #back #because #birthdays #certain