#mo

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#philosophical #politics #wisdom #humor

I stick to Raffe as close as I can manage without having to explain why I'm hugging his back. ↗

— Susan Ee

#humor

What just like that? You're not going to tell the chicken plucker you're leaving?" "She already knows," Grimalkin said picking his way across the yard. "And incidentally, 'the old chicken plucker' can hear every word you say, so I suggest we hurry. After she is done with the fowl, she intends to come after you as well. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #puck #humor

This grown man who now phones his father to say, "Motherfucker, I ain't seen pussy so long, I'd throw stones at it. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

Sounds like you've got it all planned out." "Honey, I've got more plans than Wes has ugly shoes." "And that's a lot." I laugh. "It sure is," she says with a sigh. ↗

— Laurie Faria Stolarz

#humor #kimmie #humor

Obviously it takes eight brains to come to one decision in this crowd. Good thing they have one another. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#humor #humor

What are we going to blow up?" Morgan sighed happily and slapped joss on the back. " Kid... you just said my seven favorite words. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#humor

Yes, I'm shallow, I don't mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there's no end to the depths of my shallowness. ↗

— Franny Billingsley

#shallow #wit #humor

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. ↗