#mo

Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. "Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking. "More or less," Arriane said ↗

— Lauren Kate

#fallen #fallen-angels #humor #ironic #sarcasm

“Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —" "Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred. “YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!” yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —” It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away. “I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. ↗

— Jane Seabrook

#heaven #humor #humor

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #self-doubt #self-worth #humor

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen. ↗

— Rita Davenport

#money #humor

When I grow up, I'd like to be dangerous. ↗

— Kirsten Miller

#humor #humor

rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS. ↗

— David Levithan

#acronyms #emoticons #humor #internet-slang #humor

There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. ↗

— George Carlin

#stereotypes #humor

There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn’t perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that’s not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most. ↗

— Audrey Hepburn

#humor #perfection #humor