#mo

You sure about this writer thing son? ↗

— Christopher Moore

#writer #humor

The Challenge is to pry Bertie loose from Dain and his circle of oafish dengenerates,” Jessica said severely. “It would be far more profitable to pry Dain loose for yourself,” said her grandmother. “He is very wealthy, his lineage is excellent, he is young, strong, and healthy, and you feel a powerful attraction.” “He isn’t husband material.” “What I have described is perfect husband material.” said her grandmother. “I don’t want a husband.” “Jessica, no woman does who can regard men objectively. And you have always been magnificently objective. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

I'm so sorry," said Kevin. "So selfish. I'm actually totally selfish, but I've been trying to cut back. ↗

— Z.A. Maxfield

#humor

Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a scientist! ↗

— Larry Correia

#humor

Supposing truth is a woman -- what then? ↗

— Friedrich Nietzsche

#humor

((Doc is getting ready to do a Pap-smear on Reece)) "Looks healthy," Doc commented. "Good, because it hasn't been getting any exercise in quite a while." When she heard Willow smother a laugh, Reece just closed her eyes. She had to remember some old saying about being careful of thoughts. They become words. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#humor

Life is a free circus. All you have to do is pay attention. ↗

— Bill Copeland

#humor

Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#sex #humor

In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#learning #students #humor

Can't you just like a girl who likes you back?' 'None of them likes me back. I may as well like the one I really want. ↗

— Rainbow Rowell

#high-school #humor #love #humor