#mo

We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it. Tune in, every week, as Chloe Saunders runs screaming from yet another ghost looking for her help." Okay, superpower might be pushing it. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #powers #humor

Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #life #meaning #question #humor

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #isi #sarcasm #humor

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland) ↗

— Douglas Adams

#inspirational #humor

You’ve seen the movies. Bad guy always comes back. ↗

— Sophie Oak

#siren-beloved #sophie-oak #movies

[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively] "Don't they teach you anything in your schools?" "Not about this." "Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#education #google #humor #myrnin #education

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends. ↗

— Scott Dikkers

#cynicism #friendship #humor #friendship

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#humor #lying #on-fiction #writing #humor