#mon

Daemon!" Dee called from the kitchen. "I need your help!" "We should go see what she's doing before she destroys your kitchen." He rubbed his hands down his face. "It's possible. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#dee #disaster #funny #katy #funny

To create art with all the passion in one's soul is to live art with all the beauty in one's heart. ↗

— Aberjhani

#artists #beauty #creativity #national-poetry-month #poem-in-your-pocket-day

He laughs. "Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on." I look down at my shorts. Sure enough, I've got la tengo dura in front of Kiara and Tuck. Shit. I reach out for the first thing I can grab and put it in front of me to shield myself from view. It happens to be one of Kiara's stuffed animals, but I don't have much choice right now. "That's Kiara's Mojo," Tuck says, laughing. "Get it? Mojo? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#carlos-fuentes #funny #kiara #kiara-westford #perfect-chemistry

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary ↗

— Simon Holt

#funny #simon-holt #the-devouring #funny

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd

Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!" The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#funny #humor #monster #sarcasm #funny

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I've never been more happy for a Monday. ↗

— Becca Ann

#funny

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month? ↗

— Simon Holt

#quinn #simon-holt #soulstice #funny

Vanilla has become too genericized. It’s become standard, which is good. Vanilla is a household name. But the same standardization that’s made it so popular has taken the novelty out of it. Being the vanguard of ice cream has vanquished its radical sensation. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#commonplace #funny #ice-cream #vanilla #funny