#nin

There'll be no more music, Father. But there'll be this!" He stepped into the dark, picked up the knife, and held it under their noses. "Go home. Tell your people what you saw and heard here tonight. And tell 'em that anyone we catch on these roads after dark anymore... this is what they'll get. Now that I know we're never to see the face o' God, we have nothing to lose. So, make sure you have your message right, Father, 'cause there'll be no other warning. ↗

— Eddie Lenihan

#faery #fairy #knife #music #warning

How do you feel right now?" "I hurt like hell." "You'll feel worse tomorrow." "So?" "So, better get a jump on this while you still feel...not as bad." "What kind of logic is that?" I retorted. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#logic #training #humor

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#mornings #humor

normal person's weekly chore list: 1. clean kitchen. 2. clean bathroom. 3. clean entire rest of domicile. cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. don't get peanut butter on sheets. ↗

— Dave Barry

#cleaning #humor #slobs #humor

Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?” “Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?” “You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?” “No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

I so rarely have the chance to field-test anything. Amelie is so conservative about these things -Myrnin ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #myrnin #humor

Crap. It's all crap. Living is crap. Life has no meaning. None. Nowhere to be found. Crap. Why doesn't anybody realize this? ↗

— K-Ske Hasegawa

#crap #dead #death #girl #god

I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged. Help. I've drowned the Beast Lord. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#drowning #humor #ilona-andrews #kate #magic-strikes

I heard one presidential candidate say that what this country needed was a president for the nineties. I was set to run again. I thought he said a president IN his nineties. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#nineties #president #humor

Dracula is a morning person compared to me. ↗

— Kim Dallmeier

#humor #morning #morning-person #humor