#nit

She was hearing the words. They just weren't registering on her Richter scale of sanity. ↗

— Dakota Cassidy

#hearing #humor #insanity #richter-scale #funny

I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#guity #innocent #opportunity #funny

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. ↗

— Johnny Carson

#entertainment #funny #hollywood #humor #insanity

I want to take all the pain of humanity, ball it up into a compressed, black 16-pound sphere, add three holes in a triangular formation to it, and use it to bowl a strike. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humanity #pain #funny

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #girl #gracious #humour #hunting

At this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse. ↗

— Banksy

#art #christianity #christmas #priest #religion

This social worker lassie turns round n gies us a stroppy look. Ah jist smiles bit she looked away aw fuckin nippy likes. Disnae cost nowt tae be social. A social worker thit cannae be fuckin social; that's nae good tae nae cunt, thon. Like a lifeguard thit cannae fuckin swim. Shouldnae be daein that kinday joab. ↗

— Irvine Welsh

#humanity #humor #jobs #funny

If you truly want LOVE to enter your Heart, you HAVE to give a DAMN about what's going on around you!! ↗

— AainaA-Ridtz

#compassion #humanity #life #love #life

You can have it all, just not all at the same time. ↗

— Betty Friedan

#feminism #life #making-it #opportunity #success

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear-kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor-with the cry of grave national emergency. Always there has been some terrible evil at home or some monstrous foreign power that was going to gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it ... ↗

— General Douglas MacArthur

#humanity-and-society #liberty #freedom