#no

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot. "Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #clary-fray #humor #jace-lightwood

I’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#haunted-shoe #humor #paranormal-romance #random #richelle-mead

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #delivery #funny

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960's. ↗

— Kate Morton

#irony #technology #television #theatres #funny

Again I entered my smithy to work and forge something from the noble material of time past. ↗

— Jean Froissart

#entered #forge #i #material #noble

I hope it won't be too aristocratic of me to pass some noble gas. ↗

— Bauvard

#flatulence #funny #humor #nobility #funny

Kate giggled. “Excellent choice.” “I always make excellent choices.” “I don’t know about that.” “Of course I do. I picked ye, didn’t I? ↗

— Whitney K.E.

#love #romance #romance-funny #romance-love #romance-novels

It doesn’t matter what’s wrong with him. We’re not going to act like he doesn’t exist. Not anymore. ↗

— Carrie Butler

#new-adult #new-adult-romance #paranormal-romance #romance #series

Tanned, toned, curves in the right places and that small waist…lips, hair, eyes all packaged up like a siren. If she’s a siren, I heard her call, and I’m diving in hook, line, and sinker. - Drew Donovan ↗

— Kailin Gow

#college #donovan-brothers #drew-donovan #kailin-gow #loving-summer