#ny

I dont just randomly kill people.....I kill people when its funny ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#funny

My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment. ↗

— Britney Spears

#funny

If the retreat house was a trap, it was a very nice one. ↗

— Elizabeth Hand

#funny

Having friends is how your life gets fucked up. ↗

— Jesse Andrews

#funny

Mothers, we love you. Thanks for making us. ↗

— Adam Levine

#funny #funny

So just bust a move! ↗

— Ava J. Abramowitz

#funny #funny

Isn't Glen an accountant? We're all frugal." These days, by necessity. "You might be frugal, but Glen is cheap. For Valentine's Day, he actually suggested that we go to a card shop, exchange cards in the aisle, then put them back because he didn't see the use in spending the money!" "Okay, that's cheap." Libby huffed. "I swear, if he cuts up my Bloomingdale's card, I'll cut off his pecker. ↗

— Stephanie Bond

#frugal #funny #funny

Startled, she said, “Oh, I thought you were somebody else.” “No,” I said, “I’m not somebody else—but my clone is.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fright #funny #humor #people #relationships

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. “He’s a looker.” “I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

He can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money. ↗

— L. Frank Baum

#the-marvelous-land-of-oz #funny