#ny

Rose unearthed three crystal goblets that almost matched, and even found a tablecloth that hadn't been attacked by moths since its last public appearance. ↗

— Elizabeth C. Bunce

#goblet #moth-eaten #tablecloth #funny

If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen> ↗

— Foster "Raul" Mkhabele

#funny

He bursts into tears, and not some manlike tears either, where you pretend you're brushing something off your face and, incidentally, wipe a tear. Nope. He starts bawling like a kid who spilled his Slushie... ↗

— Alex Flinn

#funny

Icy: You ladies want to hear something funny? The quiz in last month's Teen Witch said "What would you do if you got to take over the whole universe? Darcy: What did you put? Icy: I wrote "You'll find out soon enough, loser," and sent it in. ↗

— Icy

#icy #the-winx-club #funny

Give up your dreams; you'll accomplish more without sleep. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #goals #humor #dreams

Tell the Queen that there's been a robin red-breast hanging about Kotir grounds. It flies down low and vanishes near the floor. Cludd thinks it might be something to do with those woodlanders. Now, I'm to say nothing to Fortunata or Ashleg... 'I must tell the Queen that a robin has seen Cludd hanging about. No, that's not right. I must tellt he robin taht Cludd has been hanging the Queen. ↗

— Brian Jacques

#funny #thicktail-the-stoat #funny

Books are a poor substitute for female company, but they are easier to find. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#female-company #funny #romance #funny

But you have said it too often, Mr. Benedict!" said Mrs. Perumal in an imperious tone that was quite out of character. "And if you continue in this vein, I'm afraid we'll be compelled to cut our visit short. Surely there are other establishments that would host an entire troup of guests - indefinitely and without reward - and not feel obliged to apologize for it! ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#guests #host #sarcasm #visitors #funny

Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says. "They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows. "'The bomb' is a good thing? Like 'sick'? "Duh," I reply, and Dad lets out a sigh. "Thirteen-year-olds should come with subtitles," he says, turning onto our street. ↗

— Maya Gold

#language #oldies #sick #subtitles #youngsters

After all, if spinster chaperons required their own spinster chaperons there simply wouldn't be enough to go around. ↗

— Anne Stuart

#funny