#om

Well, it's taken a long time to get the Department of Homeland Security established. It's taken a long time for the Congress to decide how much it wanted to fund. ↗

— Warren Rudman

#decide #department #established #fund #get

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#after #bad #better #break #break up

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#breasts #having #large #makes #men

I didn't know the Green Lantern comics at all. I was a Superman reader. ↗

— Geoffrey Rush

#green #i #know #lantern #reader

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#grandmother #husbands #just #napping #she

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#around #day #fake #gave #head

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#better #dresses #fire #hold #looks

I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#conversation #i #like #makes #me

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#better #companion #dogs #i #just

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts. ↗