#om

I've always liked Saturn. But I also have some sympathy for Pluto because I heard it's been downgraded from a planet, and I think it should remain a planet. Once you've given something planetary status it's kind of mean to take it away. ↗

— Jared Leto

#always #away #because #been #given

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. ↗

— David Letterman

#cab #complete #engine #get #guy

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel. ↗

— David Letterman

#bad news #bomb #camel #drop #experts

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home. ↗

— David Letterman

#god #home #love #try

Everything I listen to is influential in some way. ↗

— Joanna Noelle Levesque

#i #influential #listen #some #way

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. ↗

— David Letterman

#cities #great #leads #make #move

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. ↗

— David Letterman

#approval #become #bush #does #either

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. ↗

— David Letterman

#bush #george #george w #giving #house

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. ↗

— David Letterman

#come #every #four #make #make up

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. ↗

— David Letterman

#apology #bombed #certificate #chinese #clinton