#omen

Plastic surgery is for dolls. I am a mannequin of life. I have a particularly charming effect when seen through glass. ↗

— Bauvard

#good-looks #handsomeness #humor #plastic-surgery #funny

Women's hats contain so many possibilities for subtle sensual expression. When I wear one, it entices the opposite sex with erotic suggestions which they interpret without confusion and which I have never figured out. My wife is always able to predict when I'll forget our anniversary, how thin she’ll look on my birthday, and who ate her box of chocolates on Valentine's Day. Without my hat as her radar, I would have absolutely no insight into her total inexplicability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #hats #humor #mysterious #women

When I grow up, I'd like to be dangerous. ↗

— Kirsten Miller

#humor #humor

It's a well-known fact. All women are clinically insane, but especially ballet dancers. Psycho. extremely psycho. Trust me. ↗

— Marisa de los Santos

#humor

Love covers a multitude of sins… ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#louisa-may-alcott #love #sins #love

I lived for those moments when we were together, those few times in my life that I actually felt alive. ↗

— Melissa de la Cruz

#love #moments #life

If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #choice #funny #humor #money

Women are controlled by men like a currency of the world. ↗

— Bryant McGill

#power #women-and-men #men

I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#good-guys #humor #men #men-and-women #humor

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike." Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on." Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?" It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor