#on

After that, he tried to go upstairs through the broom cupboard, and then the yard. This seemed to puzzle him a little. But finally he discovered the stairs, all except the bottom on, and fell up them on his face. The whole castle shook. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#howl #howl-s-moving-castle #humor #magic #sophie-hatter

They say a woman's loyalty only lasts as long as it takes her to hang up and dial again. ↗

— Kim Gatlin

#irony #loyalty #woman #humor

They went inside. The young ones shuffled to a stop as their ironic sensibilities, which served them in lieu of souls, were jammed by a signal of overwhelming power. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#generations #humor #humor

The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top. ↗

— Joyce Brothers

#getting #healthy #inevitable #interested #learn

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly. ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#ignorance #sarcasm-humor #humor

Exit pursued by a bear." [STAGE DIRECTIONS in The Winter's Tale (III, iii)] ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor #stage-directions #humor

Imagine no limitations; decide what's right and desirable before you decide what's possible. ↗

— Brian Tracy

#wisdom #imagination

Hiking with your feelings exposed to the sun might give you heartburn. And even if you protect yourself by going on midnight strolls, you could trip over your high expectations in the dark. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heartburn #hiking #humor #walking

Complain and remain. Praise and be raised. ↗

— Joyce Meyer

#inspirational

Knock-knock, motherfucker. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor