#ones

You have something on your neck. What Looks like a bite mark, what were you doing out all night, anyway? Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head. And ran into a vampire What? No! I fell. On your neck? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #city-of-bones #city-of-glass #humor #humor

Don't care for her tongue, do you? How strange. I find it one of my favorite parts. Bones to Gregor ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humor #humor

You’re not going to let her do this, are you?” Bones snorted. “Let her? Mate, if you think you can control a woman, you must be single—-and a thousand pounds says she beats your arse. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humorous #humor

Magic is the only honest profession. A magician promises to deceive you and he does. ↗

— Karl Germain

#humor #illusionists #illusions #magic #magicians

It takes strength and courage to admit the truth. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#honesty #self-disclosure #truth-telling #courage

Dreams are the touchstones of our characters. ↗

— Henry David Thoreau

#dreams #touchstones #dreams

Death and burial were a public spectacle. Shakespeare may have seen for himself the gravediggers at St Ann's, Soho, playing skittles with skulls and bones. ↗

— Catharine Arnold

#shakespeare #skittles #skulls #death

In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile. i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant." "you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified. "No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding? ↗

— Carrie Jones

#carrie #carrie-jones #entice #funny #funny-humor

... you’ll have to fall in love at least once in your life, or Paris has failed to rub off on you. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#first-love #france #love #love-at-first-sight #love-story

Remember when only a few people had mobile phones. Generally regarded as an object of derision, you would occasionally see business types clutching those ridiculous grey bricks to their faces and mutter to yourself 'what a prick.' Nowadays, an eyebrow hardly even flutters when we see a ten-year-old child happily texting away. You probably wouldn't notice anyway; you'd be too busy downloading an app that could definitively pinpoint who it was that had just farted in your tube carriage. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#children #humor #society #technology #business