#or

Shigure: "That's lovely. She’s so... how shall I say it? By putting it into words I'm afraid the nobility of it all would only be obscured." Yuki: "Of what?" Shigure: "You know, she's so spunky!" Kyo: "You sick bastard! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure

Want to talk about Shakespeare's sonnets?" asked Orphu of Io. Are you shitting me?" The moravecs loved the ancient human colloquial phrases, the more scatological the better. Yes," said Orphu. "I am most definitely shitting you, my friend. ↗

— Dan Simmons

#humor

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ↗

— Irina Dunn

#non-sequitur #sarcasm #women #humor

Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those big, comfy granny panties she’s got on. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#funny

Constant exposure to evil leads to tolerance. That’s how people are able to withstand its good effects so permissively. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #good #humor #toleration #funny

Jumping, waving arms, cheering, laughing, head-butting him in the groin, an unfortunate ritual in the Tanner home, very much unappreciated by Jim, but tolerated for the sake of the children, Grace, Bobby and Steven joined Jason next to their father. ↗

— Mike Jackson

#parenting #home

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up! ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #mind #humor

[On Oscar Wilde:] "If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#epigrams #humor #oscar-wilde #tribute #wit

Gentlemen, nerd girls are the world’s greatest underutilized romantic resource. ↗

— John Green

#john-green #nerds #romance #humor

Mostly harmless ↗