#or

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. ↗

— W. L. George

#cats #confinement #food #how #know

Every man carries the seed of his own death, and you will not be more than a man. You will have everything; you cannot have more… ↗

— Mary Stewart

#fate #merlin #mordred #death

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#death-and-dying #humor #humorous #humorous-quotations #internet

Hogwarts is threatened!” shouted Professor McGonagall. “Man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#professor-mcgonagall #death

My new 9mm didn’t fit my hand as well as my old one, but it was rapidly becoming a familiar weight. At first I’d decided it was okay to wear as long as I shot only at supernatural bad guys who were already shooting at me. Lately, I’d had to broaden that definition to anytime my life was in danger. I was currently leaning toward a slightly more comprehensive rule somewhere between proactive self-defense and the-bastards-had-it-coming, which, if I survived long enough, I intended to blame on my deranged partner rubbing off on me. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #humor

The enormous lake stretched flat and smooth and white all the way to the edge of the gray sky. Wagon tracks went away across it, so far that you could not see where they went; they ended in nothing at all. ↗

— Laura Ingalls Wilder

#away #could #edge #ended #enormous

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. ↗

— Bauvard

#execution #funny #humor #death

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing. ↗

— Scott Adams

#timing #age

If you heard your lover scream in the next room and you ran in and saw his pinkie on the floor, in a small puddle of blood. You wouldn't rush to the pinkie and say, 'Darling, are you OK? ' No, you'd wrap your arms around his shoulders and worry about the pinkie later. The same holds true if you heard the scream, ran in and saw his hand or -god forbid- his whole arm. But suppose you hear your lover scream in the next room, and you run in and his head is on the floor next to his body. Which do you rush to and comfort first? ↗

— Jeffrey McDaniel

#hunting-for-cherubs #poetry #death

And she arose from her deathbed in a gossamer gown, with eyes the color of starlight and hair as black as the night. And those who were her captors trembled, for the scent of death and madness emanated from her soul, and yet she was not dead. She moved like the spiders that creep in the treetops, and none could look away. Taking her first captor in hand, she fed deep and ravenous. And so it was that Myst, Queen of the Indigo Court, was born from the blood of the dead. ↗

— Yasmine Galenorn

#horror #vampires #death