#or

Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins. ↗

— Jennifer Egan

#humor

Jessica, you are a pain in the arse, do you know that? If I were not so immensely fond of you, I should throw you out the window." She wrapped her arms about his waist and laid her head against his chest. "Not merely 'fond,' but 'immensely fond.' Oh Dain, I do believe I shall swoon." "Not now," he said crossly. "I haven't time to pick you up. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

Once I got home, though, and saw several packages on my front porch, all the crap from the day disappeared. A few had smiley faces on them. Squealing, I grabbed the boxes. Books were inside-- new release books I'd preordered weeks ago. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humorous #humor

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #nature #humor

We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?" "What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

You can knock on a deaf man's door forever. ↗

— Nikos Kazantzakis

#humor

Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier." Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #sydney-sage #humor

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense ↗

— Chris Rock

#women #humor

You know, I can see more than just the future or the past." "Really?" I asked, paging through through the papers in the file. "Can you also see the present? Because I can do that, too. Like, right now, I sense that I'm in a messy room with a total toolbox. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #rachel-hawkins #sophie #spell-bound #torin

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor