#ore

Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are." The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes. "Say 'Nevermore,'" said Shadow. "Fuck you," said the raven. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #nevermore #parody #poe #raven

I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #home #humor #impatience #impatient

Nice dress. Take it off. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#morelli #romance #humor

Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?" "Only once" said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me-" "I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times-" "Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand- ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #hermione-granger #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Housework can kill you if done right. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#housekeeping #humor #humor

So." [Isobel] cleared her throat. "What are we doing?" "We," [Varen] said at last, "are doing a project on Poe." "Didn't he marry his cousin or something?" "The man is a literary god and that's all you have to say? ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#isobel #nevermore #varen #humor

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#eeyore #humor #thinking #thoughts #winnie-the-pooh

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...” “Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #order-of-the-phoenix #sarcasm #humor

Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#morelli #humor

I really don't get nervous when I perform -it's more of an exciting feeling than anything else. But put me in a classroom with kids my age and have me take a test and yeah, I'll be nervous! ↗

— Alexa Vega

#anything #classroom #else #exciting #feeling