#other

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. ↗

— Johnny Carson

#entertainment #funny #hollywood #humor #insanity

Are you scared of going in to see the raghnaid [the council]?” asked a gray female pup. “Are you cag mag [crazy]? If a bear was his Milk Giver, you think he’s scared of the raghnaid? ↗

— Kathryn Lasky

#funny #motherhood #wolves #funny

It makes my skin crawl to think about the violent ways snakes, lizards, alligators and other exotic creatures are raised and killed for boots, bags and belts. ↗

— Kelly Brook

#alligators #bags #belts #boots #crawl

JESSICA: My preparation for motherhood began with hiking. LUKE: And where did your preparation for hiking begin? JESSICA: In the same place as my preparation for motherhood: with the birds and the bees. And you are not mature enough to have that conversation without asking about pollination strategies or ornithological classification. ↗

— Bauvard

#hiking #humor #motherhood #funny

Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and for unprofitable, distracting musings; while labor profit others and ourselves. ↗

— Anne Baxter

#devil #distracting #duty #home #idleness

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ↗

— Orson Welles

#dinners #doctor #four #having #intimate

So my one kid's 4, my other kid's 4 months, I'm 44, Barack Obama is the 44th president - it's all lining up nicely here. ↗

— Eddie Vedder

#barack obama #here #i #kid #lining

How do I know you'll keep your word?" asked Coraline. "I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave." "Does she have a grave?" asked Coraline. "Oh yes," said the other mother. "I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #mothers #humor

What's another word for Thesaurus? ↗

— Steven Wright

#another #thesaurus #word

You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are ↗

— J.R. Ward

#brothers #humor #love #rhage #humor